Testimonial with Tati
Tati, from Brazil, she is 38 years old, and was diagnosed in 2021. Get to know her story.
How was the process leading up to the diagnosis, and how did you deal with it?
I was always a very emotional child and had a real fear of my mom leaving me at school. In adolescence, this "weirdness" continued until my first crush, and that’s when things got complicated. But everyone said it was just a phase of adolescence. It only got worse in adulthood, and at 25, I was wrongly diagnosed with bipolar disorder. When I received the official diagnosis, it was liberating—finally, a name for what I was feeling.
What are the symptoms that affect you the most?
An intense fear of abandonment, impulsivity with sex and shopping, unstable identity, unstable relationships, jealousy, self-harm, emptiness, intense anger, dissociative symptoms, mood swings.
How do you manage these symptoms? Which ones have you learned to control, and how? What helps you regulate your emotions, triggers, and impulses?
I try to do breathing exercises or hold onto ice.
I still struggle a lot; sometimes, I have breakdowns.
What are your biggest fears regarding this disorder? And what positive aspects can you see in it?
A deep fear of abandonment, insecurity, a fear of not being loved, insecurity about the future—especially relationships—and my ability to maintain a stable life.
Positive aspects: Authenticity—I am very authentic, creative, and empathetic. BPD brings challenges, but it has made me more resilient and determined. And there’s my ability to love intensely.
I imagine that, after the diagnosis and beginning a process of self-discovery, recovery, and therapy, you had to review and reassess your values, beliefs, thought patterns, behaviors, and relationships. Did you feel a reconstruction of your life was necessary? How so?
Yes, it was the beginning of a deep journey of self-discovery and reconstruction, a reassessment of my values and beliefs, a transformation of thought patterns—which is still a challenge for me—building new behaviors, and reevaluating relationships—I limited harmful connections. This journey of self-discovery and rebuilding requires courage and patience, but it also brings a sense of rebirth.
What advice would you give right now to someone going through a difficult time?
If you're going through a tough time, especially dealing with BPD, know that you're not alone on this journey. The intensity of the emotions and challenges can make it seem like things will never improve. Believe that there is a path that, while difficult, can be an opportunity to grow, learn, and develop even greater resilience. With support, self-compassion, and step-by-step recovery, you can find stability and moments of peace amidst the storm.
