Testimonial with Rita

Living with borderline personality disorder is like navigating an ocean in a constant storm. Before knowing what it was, I felt like a strange being, lost, not understanding why my mind always seemed to swing between the despair of anxiety and the darkness of depression. Panic attacks would come without warning, leaving me crying with an inner pain so intense it seemed impossible to explain to anyone. It was a stabbing pain in my chest, as if something was constantly tearing inside.

One of the worst parts was the feeling of abandonment. Each time I felt that a friend was drifting away or didn’t meet my expectations of connection, the impact was devastating. The pain of rejection, real or perceived, was far too intense to be merely sadness; it was like a visceral despair.

When I was diagnosed, the relief of knowing I wasn’t alone, that there were thousands of people like me, was immense. But that doesn’t mean that those around me truly understand. Many don’t know what it’s like to live this way, how each emotion is felt so intensely, how the fear of losing someone or being rejected is constant. Even so, it’s true that some people make an effort to understand, to be present. They feel concerned and try to help, even if they never fully comprehend.

Since my mother passed away in 2022, I feel that something in me crumbled even further. The search for a mother figure in my friends has become almost automatic, an impulse that sometimes causes conflicts because it’s neither fair nor easy for them to meet that need. It’s a struggle between wanting affection and the fear of asking too much.

I live with borderline, and it’s neither pretty nor easy. But somehow, this emotional intensity, this extreme vulnerability, has also become a superpower. I’ve learned to see the sensitive and compassionate side of this experience, even though sometimes it pushes me to my limits.

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Testimonial with Sónia

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Testimonial with Sandro